Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

Tonight I begin chemotherapy. There is no time for counseling. No one warns me about the risks for my fertility, no procedure to save my eggs is scheduled. I am not allowed to go to the dentist’s one last time. The chemo is very strong, no one knows the correct levels for my body yet. No one teaches me about mouth washes, so I get the worst case of mucusitis anyone has ever seen. Eventually I literally cough up the lining of my esophagus. It is dark and I gag it out into the pink vomit basin. Ryan gets the nurse, who saves it in the bathroom and shows everyone. Residents come in all morning to look at it. I am confused and scared that it is something they will need to put back in. I am unable to eat for over a month. It burns my throat and chest to take even a sip of water.