Saturday, July 19th, 2008

Today is the Wash for the Cure, a carwash in my honor put on by my coworkers. I ask my parents to drive me up to the school so that I can say hi to everyone. When I get there I am able to greet only a few people before becoming too emotional and having to leave.

At home I have been uncomfortable and dealing with depression. I cannot fall asleep easily and when I do, I wake up after only a few short hours. I am unable to concentrate on anything that would provide some distraction. I try to read magazines or watch TV, but I end up just sitting in a chair staring off into space. I want to call my friends, but I don’t feel up to it. I try to get out of the house as much as I can, in ways that won’t overexert me. Each morning, one of my brothers will take me for a walk around the subdivision in my wheelchair. At first, I am embarrassed by the strange looks I get, but after a while I come to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine. In the evenings, my mom will take me for a car ride, sometimes to get a slurpee, which feels good on my throat, but often causes me to vomit. I drink it anyways. I am starting to get used to the constant puking.

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