Saturday, November 15th, 2008

Andrew stays with me tonight, because he has to go back to school and will miss the day of the operation. Beth and Jay are visiting and we are all talking. While we are chatting, I fiddle with my IV connections. After a few minutes, Jason says he thinks I am leaking something. We look down; the fluids have made a small puddle on the floor. Once all of the fluid has dripped out, the liquid turns red and I realize in horror that my blood is pouring out of the IV I accidentally disconnected. Everyone jumps up and pages the nurse, but the sheet and my gown are soaked before Andrew runs into the hallway to get help. From then on I pay more attention to what I am touching.
After my friends leave we try to get some sleep. At around three in the morning the nurse comes in and says she needs to move me. Andrew tells her absolutely not, that I need my rest. He buys us a few more hours of less interrupted sleep. I call him my hero.
They have made me repeat my MRI twice already, because they have not been taking images of the upper portion of my tumor, which is the most important part. My surgeon, Dr. Hafez, needs to see if the tumor has shrunk down in the IVC, away from my heart. If it has not the operation will be even more complicated, and they will need to saw open my ribcage and do open heart surgery. There is a team of cardiologists standing by. A third MRI is scheduled for tomorrow. I am furious that they have not been performed correctly, because MRIs are long and achingly uncomfortable, and they are costing me time with my family each time they make me repeat the test.

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